How to speak to Angry people

A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Pro15:1

I know a lot of people that have drama. When some of the young people from the church come to my house in Moreno Valley they hesitate; “there is a lot of bad neighborhoods over there.” I respond; “not for me.” I don’t have trouble. People don’t “bang” or “maddog” me. If they start I greet them with a smile and a ‘how are you?” that defuses hostility very quickly.

The Ephirimites loved to fight. Twice they were offended because they were left out of the battle. When Gideon took his 300 and slaughtered 135,000 Midiniates the Ephrimites were furious. “Why did you not tell us?” If they could not fight alongside of him, they wanted to fight with him. Gideon used a gentle answer and pacified them. “You helped in the follow up. You killed their most important kings. You are glorious. You are honored.” With that they left satisfied.

However, years later when Jepthah had to defeat the massive army of the Ammonites the Ephrimites were left out again. When they complained Jepthah was in no mood to put up with them. He had just lost his daughter. With harsh words a civil war kicked off that ended in the death of tens of thousands. This happened all because one leader would not give a soft answer.

What do you want? How will you get it? Giving rough answers is rarely the best way. It is like yelling at a ref in a basketball game. They have never overturned their own call. Offending peoples pride only turns them to reinforcing their own prejudices. We must be wise and meek in turning them. Find common ground. See the good they do. None of that involves compromise or lack of integrity. It simply means better form. I encourage you today, be right but also speak right.